Written by Nicole Er
Our Heavenly Father’s Love for Us is Our First Love
He loved us before we were even formed in our mother’s womb. In Psalm 139:14, it says ‘I am fearfully and wonderfully made’. His love breathed life into us and continues to be the reason for our existence. Because He called us Beloved first, because we were first a child of God, before anything else. I am the Beloved before I am a daughter. I am loved personally and I am loved intimately. This truth took me a long time to claim but when I did, it felt like the chains that had bound me for my entire life shatter into pieces. I felt the layers of labels that were so heavy strip away, revealing who God called me to be. He created me to be good and to be worthy of love and to love. Brothers and sisters, we are not orphans and we are not slaves. We have a Father who walks beside us and who gently leads us. We have not been forgotten or forsaken.
My Father’s Love for Me is Unconditional
This was a statement that was repeated so many times to me that I grew numb to the truth it held. What I realised in the School of Witness (SOW) is that His love pursues me no matter how far I ran. No matter how far I chased after worldly successes, He wasn’t just one step behind me, He was right there beside me. This is the unconditional love of my Father – that He would run to me, arms open wide, to receive me even when I had turned away from Him so many times. For my entire life, I had been striving to achieve and to feel worthy. God assured me then and assures me now that He loves me because He loves me because He loves me. In Zephaniah 3:17, it says that ‘The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.’ He says that there is nothing I can do that will make Him love me any less and He is proud of me no matter how many times I fail. Claiming this as the truth was one of the most difficult things I ever had to do as it took me courage, which He gave me, to stand vulnerable with a naked heart in front of the Lord and to return to Him as a child. Before I met Him, I never believed that anyone could love someone like me – someone as broken, as sinful, as unworthy like me. But He loves me and He loves you even in our unworthiness. He loves you even in the times you have failed. He loves you and who you are, He loves even the parts of you that you see as ugly for he sees it as beauty. He sees you as beautiful.
I struggled immensely with self-worth in my time in Junior College. The expectations from my loved ones to be a perfect student, a perfect daughter and a perfect friend drew me further from God and I became self-reliant. I told myself that I had to pick myself up each time I fell down because only I could save myself. I grew lonely. I grew tired. I grew restless in my pursuit of validation from those around me who never seemed to satisfy my thirst. I spent a long time fighting for any validation that would help affirm me of my worth in the world. I fought to be well-liked, to be smart, to be funny, to be of value.
Joining School of Witness was never part of my plan. I was getting ready to take up an internship to beef up my university applications and making arrangements to go on overseas trips with my friends. I signed up for SOW 2018 in a state of overwhelming fear that I was making the biggest mistake of my life. Yet, little did I know that I would meet Him so personally and intimately on the fourth day of the 2 month long program. As the worship team played the song ‘Good Good Father’ by Chris Tomlin, I felt the most beautiful feeling of peace washing over me. The moment I heard the words ‘And you tell me that you’re pleased and that I’m never alone’, I broke down crying. It felt to me then that I had been pulled from the darkness and loneliness of my tomb into the light that enveloped me in its loving embrace. In His love, I found my worth. In His love, I heard a gentle voice telling me that I did not battle alone anymore. In His love, I felt all the lies of the world that had been etched into my skin melt away, replaced by the truth that I am His Beloved. In SOW, I began a journey I never thought I would. I began a journey towards understanding my Father’s heart, towards falling deeper in love with the one who loved me the most. This was my Father’s love for me.
My Father’s Love for Me Empowers Me
In 1 John 4:19, ‘We love because He first loved us.’ His love changes us, it gives us the grace to adopt the eyes of Jesus Christ and look at out brothers and sisters not with jealousy or anger but with tender love. In 1 John 2:9-10, it says that ‘Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness. Whoever loves his brother lives in the light, and there is nothing in him to make him stumble.’ If we have truly experienced the life-changing power of His love, we will not be able to stay stagnant. He leads us beyond – beyond our comfort zone, beyond the boat and onto the water, beyond the tomb that we have grown so accustomed to. We are sent out to love others just like how He loved us. It will be difficult, yes. The world has taught us to be selfish, to keep love to ourselves but God calls us to a greater purpose in life. He calls us to love one another just as He loves us.
Brothers and sisters, we are loved. We are no longer wanderers and slaves. We are worthy because God loves us and to claim this truth and this identity of ours is to allow Him to love us first. Let God into your hearts and witness the transformation He will make in your lives.
