By Natasha Wong
How do we normally make decisions?
Life is lived through our decisions; while sometimes they are made in response to a situation (often beyond our control), other times they originate from our own desires. There are the big decisions that we make, such as choosing a school to enroll in or whether to marry someone. Then there are smaller decisions that we make, such as whether we will join a group of friends for an outing for the day, or what we choose to have for lunch.
However, one thing is for sure – for every decision we make, there is an outcome. So how do we make that decision, such that the outcome is the ‘best’ one?
Some of us may see decision making as: ‘best = maximising the good and minimising the bad outcome’, or some of us may have other perspectives on what ‘best’ means for us. Sometimes, we might feel that more of a material good is always better. Other times, we may feel that taking risks is too much for us and doing nothing is ‘safer’. The bigger the decision and stakes, the more uncertain the outcomes are. We go back and forth between opportunities gained or lost. We spend weeks analyzing all the possible outcomes, and still cannot come to a decision. We get stuck in decision analysis paralysis.
How Catholics are invited to make decisions?
For us Christians, we (hopefully endeavor to) come to decisions through discernment. What a strange word it is. It isn’t really used in the secular world and something that is rather unique in the language of religion.
Discernment is about asking God what he wants for our lives. We do this through prayerfully making sense of the movements in our lives. We ask the Lord “what do You desire for me?” But it is important to note that God is not a genie, He does not grant wishes. God is not a magic 8 ball, we cannot shake Him and expect an answer to pop right in our faces.
To discern, we must recognise who God is – our creator, and even more so, He is THE creator of all creation. He is an omnipresent, omniscient God who knows everything and anything. Here, then, lies the difference between discernment and decision making. It is placing our trust in the God who knows all and is all, and trusting that we can make decisions that bring us closer to Christ (as the ultimate end goal of our life).
How do we know if the very thing we are discerning about will bring us closer to Christ? By getting to know Christ and getting to know the heart of Christ. How? By building a relationship with Him. And how again? Through speaking to Him in prayer.
Once we come to know the heart of the Creator, we come to know more of his creation – we come to know ourselves, revealed through Him. A relationship with Christ is not built over a day, just like how relationships with our loved ones and closest friends are not built in an instant. It is built over time, through spending quality time with one another, through getting to know each other through mutual friends and hanging out together (in community).
As we become more aware of Christ in our lives, we are called to live in Christ – and this entails giving our daily ‘Yes’ to Him, bit by bit. We do not reach the summit of a mountain by taking one step from the foot of it, but we take many small steps, often in winding roads, to slowly make our way to the top. Likewise, our journey of discernment and decision making is not made in a single moment, but rather, the daily moments. We practice our ‘Yes’ to Christ in the small things, so that when we reach the summit and are faced with big decisions with the highest stakes and with no sight of what comes after, that decision that we make will be one of trust and hope in the Lord, and that is where we find our joy. As our Lord said, “Whoever is faithful in the very little is faithful also in much; and whoever is dishonest in the very little is dishonest also in much.” (Luke 16:10)
