Life in Christ as a Married Couple
testimony by MOSES & OLIVIA
illustrations by SARAH PHUA
Serving as a Couple/Family
Before the birth of our son, Isaiah, we used to serve together in retreats and other OYP events. We witnessed the power of sacramental grace when we ministered to others through prayer and sharing. At the same time, we faced the same struggles of most families – the need to juggle between different commitments in our lives. We decided God should continue to be in the centre of our lives, believing He will continue to open doors and paths for us and take care of our needs. As St. Paul says, “the One who calls you is faithful” (1 Thessalonians 5:24). The Lord indeed took care of our material needs by opening several opportunities in our careers. Furthermore, he multiplied the quality time we spent as a couple, even as the amount of time we spent as a couple was reduced. Hence, these principles and considerations followed us when Isaiah was born.
We were mindful not to neglect him by doing God’s work, as he may end up being resentful towards God and the Church. On the other hand, we were careful not to treat him like a god, lest he may grow up not knowing who God is. Knowing our capacity to serve, we scaled down in our frontline ministry and served in more backroom ministries for OYP programmes as a couple. When one is called to serve in a greater capacity (be it in OYP or 1 Peter), the other will take a step back.
We received feedback that just by being at Nox Gaudii as a young family, we inspired young men and women that this is a path they can take when they start a family. Isaiah has grown up watching us worship, pray and serve together and share our lives with others.
We believe that the doors to this domestic church should always be opened, instead of retreating into its own exclusivity and parochial mindset.
When we could not reach out to others outside, we invited them to our house for a meal to touch base with them. We have also gone on pilgrimages with members of our community. Isaiah has learnt to receive our guests and lead us in grace before meals (kiddy way). We also benefitted from free childminding services ☺.
Suffering in Christ
However, as mentioned at the start, life has always not been smooth sailing for us as a married couple. We have truly lived out our wedding vows, which is to be true to each other in good times and bad, sickness and health during these 5 years. In October 2019, when Olivia was 37 weeks pregnant with our next child, Lucia, her placenta suddenly ruptured and Lucia was a stillborn. We were extremely devastated by that experience (having miscarried another child, Josiah, back in 2016) and we continue to carry this excruciating pain with us till this day. To add to our misery, Olivia suffered another miscarriage (Thaddeus) in April 2021, despite us praying unceasingly to God for another child.
Admittedly, we were disillusioned with God and felt so betrayed by Him. Why did He allow these to happen to us when we have loved and served Him so faithfully? The natural reaction was to demand an answer from God. However, we may never get one and we can only cling on to the hope that endures. Though deeply affected by these tragedies, we are truly grateful that our families and community rallied together to envelop us with their love, prayers and encouragement. That helped us to pull through our darkest days. We shared Lucia’s story with many and learnt later that it has built faith and brought some back to Church. Our daughter continues to be a great missionary and she did not die in vain. More importantly, without realising, Isaiah has looked at us and pondered these events in his heart. He has witnessed faith in despair and love in tragedy and this is a small glimpse of what the Cross means.
We always joke with one another about how we had an argument during one of our wedding anniversary celebration and how one of us said to the other that even if there are no more feelings of love in the marriage we will still keep and honour our marriage vows. Marriage is not just about feeling good and portraying to the world a picture perfect family as what we commonly see on social media. It is about the commitment to one another and keeping Christ in the centre of the family home and keeping things real despite all the struggles and challenges that we may face.
Today, we continue to hold on to our conviction to serve our family, community and the wider Church. We may be broken and imperfect. However, we believe that God can even write straight lines with a crooked pen and use us as His instruments where He wills. If anyone is to ask us what our stand is amidst our tragedies, we will still hold our heads high and reiterate our couple mission:
“As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” (Joshua 24:15)
Redemptive Suffering in Married Life
testimony by MOSES & OLIVIA
illustrations by SARAH PHUA
Serving as a Couple/Family
Before the birth of our son, Isaiah, we used to serve together in retreats and other OYP events. We witnessed the power of sacramental grace when we ministered to others through prayer and sharing. At the same time, we faced the same struggles of most families – the need to juggle between different commitments in our lives. We decided God should continue to be in the centre of our lives, believing He will continue to open doors and paths for us and take care of our needs. As St. Paul says, “the One who calls you is faithful” (1 Thessalonians 5:24). The Lord indeed took care of our material needs by opening several opportunities in our careers. Furthermore, he multiplied the quality time we spent as a couple, even as the amount of time we spent as a couple was reduced. Hence, these principles and considerations followed us when Isaiah was born.
We were mindful not to neglect him by doing God’s work, as he may end up being resentful towards God and the Church. On the other hand, we were careful not to treat him like a god, lest he may grow up not knowing who God is. Knowing our capacity to serve, we scaled down in our frontline ministry and served in more backroom ministries for OYP programmes as a couple. When one is called to serve in a greater capacity (be it in OYP or 1 Peter), the other will take a step back.
We received feedback that just by being at Nox Gaudii as a young family, we inspired young men and women that this is a path they can take when they start a family. Isaiah has grown up watching us worship, pray and serve together and share our lives with others.
We believe that the doors to this domestic church should always be opened, instead of retreating into its own exclusivity and parochial mindset.
When we could not reach out to others outside, we invited them to our house for a meal to touch base with them. We have also gone on pilgrimages with members of our community. Isaiah has learnt to receive our guests and lead us in grace before meals (kiddy way). We also benefitted from free childminding services ☺.
Suffering in Christ
However, as mentioned at the start, life has always not been smooth sailing for us as a married couple. We have truly lived out our wedding vows, which is to be true to each other in good times and bad, sickness and health during these 5 years. In October 2019, when Olivia was 37 weeks pregnant with our next child, Lucia, her placenta suddenly ruptured and Lucia was a stillborn. We were extremely devastated by that experience (having miscarried another child, Josiah, back in 2016) and we continue to carry this excruciating pain with us till this day. To add to our misery, Olivia suffered another miscarriage (Thaddeus) in April 2021, despite us praying unceasingly to God for another child.
Admittedly, we were disillusioned with God and felt so betrayed by Him. Why did He allow these to happen to us when we have loved and served Him so faithfully? The natural reaction was to demand an answer from God. However, we may never get one and we can only cling on to the hope that endures. Though deeply affected by these tragedies, we are truly grateful that our families and community rallied together to envelop us with their love, prayers and encouragement. That helped us to pull through our darkest days. We shared Lucia’s story with many and learnt later that it has built faith and brought some back to Church. Our daughter continues to be a great missionary and she did not die in vain. More importantly, without realising, Isaiah has looked at us and pondered these events in his heart. He has witnessed faith in despair and love in tragedy and this is a small glimpse of what the Cross means.
We always joke with one another about how we had an argument during one of our wedding anniversary celebration and how one of us said to the other that even if there are no more feelings of love in the marriage we will still keep and honour our marriage vows. Marriage is not just about feeling good and portraying to the world a picture perfect family as what we commonly see on social media. It is about the commitment to one another and keeping Christ in the centre of the family home and keeping things real despite all the struggles and challenges that we may face.
Today, we continue to hold on to our conviction to serve our family, community and the wider Church. We may be broken and imperfect. However, we believe that God can even write straight lines with a crooked pen and use us as His instruments where He wills. If anyone is to ask us what our stand is amidst our tragedies, we will still hold our heads high and reiterate our couple mission:
“As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” (Joshua 24:15)
