God's Love
testimony by ELLIOT NG
illustrations by GABRIELLA SPYKERMAN
Before the Combined University Retreat (CUR) in 2019, I perceived God to be an impersonal god, an almighty ruler who handed out rewards and punishments as he saw fit from his high throne of heaven. But that was it, this God remained distant and impersonal. He was just another part of the ‘all-round complete’ life I deemed myself to be living. As such, I did not have a lasting consistent relationship with Christ because I never saw Him as a priority in my life. Instead, I sought to fulfil myself through the worldly pursuit of my grades, my achievements and my social life. I told myself that as long as I attained these worldly treasures, I would be satisfied. However, although I attained some of these treasures, I found myself still searching for this fulfilment – this joy that would last – but never could I find it.
But come CUR, God spoke great truths to me. He revealed to me the intensity of His love for me in how this almighty, all-powerful God loved me so much that He was willing to empty himself completely. To leave the glory of heaven to become a man and join the filth of the Earth.
This love of His is radical, so radical that it is almost scandalous even – scandalous because of the idea that an almighty God would stoop so low as to place himself amongst sinners. Not only did he become man, but He took on the lowest of mankind, a baby born in a humble manger, because He loved me that much.
I recall a night session during the retreat where we were invited to prostrate completely before the Blessed Sacrament. As I faced the ground, I realised that this position was the lowest I could possibly physically bring myself before the Lord. Yet, it struck me how my own descent paled in comparison to God’s descent from heaven to earth. For Him to willingly lower Himself as such signified to me the immensity of love He has for me – a love that is unfathomable and beyond human reason.
Because he loves me that much, I realised that this love can only be expressed through the medium of a personal and intimate relationship between me and him. And I realised that this was the crux of why I never made God a bigger part of my life. It was because I didn’t have a personal daily relationship with Him through which I could experience His love. I knew Him on Sundays at Mass and in church sessions, but outside of that I never committed myself to growing in a personal relationship with Him.
Because I lacked this relationship, it was so easy for the treasures of the world to draw me away from God. Leaving CUR, I was now convicted of His immense love for me and desired to enter into this personal relationship that He wants to have with me. I still remember the immense joy I experienced the moment I came to realise the extent of the Father’s love for me. This joy stemmed from the knowledge that I no longer had to chase my worth in worldly success, but rather, my sense of worth is placed in God’s unfailing love for me.
Today, I continue to live in the knowledge of God’s immense love for me as I pursue my personal relationship with Him. Previously, I prided myself in being seen by others as an ‘all-rounded’ student who could juggle academics, sports and social life. I strived to excel in all of these areas and placed all of my worth in maintaining this image. But now I claim that my worth is not measured by worldly success, but instead measured by God’s immense love for me. Consequently, this need I felt to be seen as an ‘all-rounded’ student has gradually faded away, allowing me to instead simply be content in being held as His child.
Cultivating this personal relationship with the Lord has involved me spending lots of personal time with Him in prayer and adoration. Through this personal time, I avail myself to Him – presenting to Him my struggles and contemplating His movements in my life. It gives me the space to have recourse to Him in all things and to experience His deep love as He meets me in my struggles. Through this consistent spending time with the Lord in quiet prayer, the Lord continues to sustain and fulfil me. Having this source of life allows me to live in the freedom of knowing that I was made for more than this world has to offer.
My brothers and sisters, will you take the step to enter into a personal relationship with God and through it experience His immense love for you?
God's Love
testimony by ELLIOT NG
illustrations by GABRIELLA SPYKERMAN
Before the Combined University Retreat (CUR) in 2019, I perceived God to be an impersonal god, an almighty ruler who handed out rewards and punishments as he saw fit from his high throne of heaven. But that was it, this God remained distant and impersonal. He was just another part of the ‘all-round complete’ life I deemed myself to be living. As such, I did not have a lasting consistent relationship with Christ because I never saw Him as a priority in my life. Instead, I sought to fulfil myself through the worldly pursuit of my grades, my achievements and my social life. I told myself that as long as I attained these worldly treasures, I would be satisfied. However, although I attained some of these treasures, I found myself still searching for this fulfilment – this joy that would last – but never could I find it.
But come CUR, God spoke great truths to me. He revealed to me the intensity of His love for me in how this almighty, all-powerful God loved me so much that He was willing to empty himself completely. To leave the glory of heaven to become a man and join the filth of the Earth.
This love of His is radical, so radical that it is almost scandalous even – scandalous because of the idea that an almighty God would stoop so low as to place himself amongst sinners. Not only did he become man, but He took on the lowest of mankind, a baby born in a humble manger, because He loved me that much.
I recall a night session during the retreat where we were invited to prostrate completely before the Blessed Sacrament. As I faced the ground, I realised that this position was the lowest I could possibly physically bring myself before the Lord. Yet, it struck me how my own descent paled in comparison to God’s descent from heaven to earth. For Him to willingly lower Himself as such signified to me the immensity of love He has for me – a love that is unfathomable and beyond human reason.
Because he loves me that much, I realised that this love can only be expressed through the medium of a personal and intimate relationship between me and him. And I realised that this was the crux of why I never made God a bigger part of my life. It was because I didn’t have a personal daily relationship with Him through which I could experience His love. I knew Him on Sundays at Mass and in church sessions, but outside of that I never committed myself to growing in a personal relationship with Him.
Because I lacked this relationship, it was so easy for the treasures of the world to draw me away from God. Leaving CUR, I was now convicted of His immense love for me and desired to enter into this personal relationship that He wants to have with me. I still remember the immense joy I experienced the moment I came to realise the extent of the Father’s love for me. This joy stemmed from the knowledge that I no longer had to chase my worth in worldly success, but rather, my sense of worth is placed in God’s unfailing love for me.
Today, I continue to live in the knowledge of God’s immense love for me as I pursue my personal relationship with Him. Previously, I prided myself in being seen by others as an ‘all-rounded’ student who could juggle academics, sports and social life. I strived to excel in all of these areas and placed all of my worth in maintaining this image. But now I claim that my worth is not measured by worldly success, but instead measured by God’s immense love for me. Consequently, this need I felt to be seen as an ‘all-rounded’ student has gradually faded away, allowing me to instead simply be content in being held as His child.
Cultivating this personal relationship with the Lord has involved me spending lots of personal time with Him in prayer and adoration. Through this personal time, I avail myself to Him – presenting to Him my struggles and contemplating His movements in my life. It gives me the space to have recourse to Him in all things and to experience His deep love as He meets me in my struggles. Through this consistent spending time with the Lord in quiet prayer, the Lord continues to sustain and fulfil me. Having this source of life allows me to live in the freedom of knowing that I was made for more than this world has to offer.
My brothers and sisters, will you take the step to enter into a personal relationship with God and through it experience His immense love for you?
