Jesus My Constant
testimony by RACHEL TAN
illustrations by NATASHA KOH
Throughout the past two and a half years, there have been many changes in my life. Starting my journey as a student in a polytechnic, moving from one job to another, meeting new people and even living in a pandemic. Change has always been something I struggle with. Yet, it’s like that uninvited friend that just keeps showing up.
Before starting school in April 2019, I attended SHINE. On the last day of the retreat, I remember being so afraid of starting out in a new environment. I broke down in tears and shared my fears with my facilitator. I had spent my holidays being active in parish and growing my relationship with the Lord. Once I realized that the end of the retreat meant the beginning of my journey in polytechnic, I was anxious and overwhelmed. I had heard stories from my friends and relatives about the secular nature of the school. I was scared of the challenges that were to come, whether my priorities would change, whether my friendships would change, whether I would change.
Nonetheless, school began and I decided to join the campus community in Ngee Ann Polytechnic. Joining the community was my way of clinging on to a sense of familiarity amidst the “newness” of this season in my life. Through the laughter, the jokes, the fellowship and the raw, honest conversations, I truly encountered what the joy of the Lord is. The campus community also kept me accountable in my walk with the Lord, assuring me that I am not alone in this pursuit of faith.
Before the pandemic, I was that person who left the house early in the morning from school and came back late after school, work, a community session or an outing with my friends. Hence, when COVID-19 cases rose in Singapore and everything moved online, these changes impacted me greatly. Once again, I found myself in the similar state of anxiety, fearful of the uncertainties of the future.
During an ANEW session in Easter 2020, I was prompted to reflect deeper on the phrase “Talitha Koum”, which is a phrase Jesus uses in Mark 5. In the bible, Jesus uses this phrase to tell a little girl to rise from the dead. Similarly, Jesus was calling me out of the state of worry and distress that I was in. “For the son of man came to seek out and to save the lost.” Luke 19:10 He reminded me that he has overcome sin and death, that throughout all the fears I had, he is and will still be present in my life.
As I look back on the past few years, I recognize that change is inevitable. Change is something everyone has to go through many times in their life. However, as I go through different seasons of my life, Jesus has always been there. The promptings to attend SHINE in 2019 and join the campus community in Ngee Ann Polytechnic, or even through the more subtle promptings to attend weekly community sessions, these were God’s ways of drawing me close to him. Reflecting on these invitations, I was able to notice the Lord’s providence in my life.
These are a glimpse into what the Lord has done for me over the past few years of my life. I will continue to go through changes and embrace the different seasons of life that I am called to. Although it may be uncomfortable, only through change can there be growth. Through Jesus, I am empowered and reminded that I am not alone. Jesus is my constant, someone who is there for me each and every day.
Jesus My Constant
testimony by RACHEL TAN
illustrations by NATASHA KOH
Throughout the past two and a half years, there have been many changes in my life. Starting my journey as a student in a polytechnic, moving from one job to another, meeting new people and even living in a pandemic. Change has always been something I struggle with. Yet, it’s like that uninvited friend that just keeps showing up.
Before starting school in April 2019, I attended SHINE. On the last day of the retreat, I remember being so afraid of starting out in a new environment. I broke down in tears and shared my fears with my facilitator. I had spent my holidays being active in parish and growing my relationship with the Lord. Once I realized that the end of the retreat meant the beginning of my journey in polytechnic, I was anxious and overwhelmed. I had heard stories from my friends and relatives about the secular nature of the school. I was scared of the challenges that were to come, whether my priorities would change, whether my friendships would change, whether I would change.
Nonetheless, school began and I decided to join the campus community in Ngee Ann Polytechnic. Joining the community was my way of clinging on to a sense of familiarity amidst the “newness” of this season in my life. Through the laughter, the jokes, the fellowship and the raw, honest conversations, I truly encountered what the joy of the Lord is. The campus community also kept me accountable in my walk with the Lord, assuring me that I am not alone in this pursuit of faith.
Before the pandemic, I was that person who left the house early in the morning from school and came back late after school, work, a community session or an outing with my friends. Hence, when COVID-19 cases rose in Singapore and everything moved online, these changes impacted me greatly. Once again, I found myself in the similar state of anxiety, fearful of the uncertainties of the future.
During an ANEW session in Easter 2020, I was prompted to reflect deeper on the phrase “Talitha Koum”, which is a phrase Jesus uses in Mark 5. In the bible, Jesus uses this phrase to tell a little girl to rise from the dead. Similarly, Jesus was calling me out of the state of worry and distress that I was in. “For the son of man came to seek out and to save the lost.” Luke 19:10 He reminded me that he has overcome sin and death, that throughout all the fears I had, he is and will still be present in my life.
As I look back on the past few years, I recognize that change is inevitable. Change is something everyone has to go through many times in their life. However, as I go through different seasons of my life, Jesus has always been there. The promptings to attend SHINE in 2019 and join the campus community in Ngee Ann Polytechnic, or even through the more subtle promptings to attend weekly community sessions, these were God’s ways of drawing me close to him. Reflecting on these invitations, I was able to notice the Lord’s providence in my life.
These are a glimpse into what the Lord has done for me over the past few years of my life. I will continue to go through changes and embrace the different seasons of life that I am called to. Although it may be uncomfortable, only through change can there be growth. Through Jesus, I am empowered and reminded that I am not alone. Jesus is my constant, someone who is there for me each and every day.
