Hello! I am Eric, entering Year 2 in SUSS, studying Human Resource Management.
If I were to describe my life before SOCL, I would say it was alright. My prayer life consisted of me having routine prayer, watching spiritual videos and reading spiritual books. During exam period, it is only natural to have a “stronger faith” to help me get through my academics. I knew I had struggles, but I chose to act as if it did not affect me. Coming into SOCL, I had my doubts as I knew that with every step closer to Christ, it meant walking away from something. Frankly, I was very comfortable where I was.
SOCL allowed me to see the areas where I have been living in lies pertaining to myself or even lies that I was led to believe about other things such as community. I think I felt intrigued when the term “minimalistic faith” was introduced. I realised I was living a life of simply obeying rules from the bible. It was further reinforced when Father Jude asked us if we were leading legalistic lives and the soccer analogy. My defining moment was when he asked us to think about the things we are convicted to and said that the things that we are convicted to are the Lords of our lives. At that moment, I knew that there was so much more to life, but only if I desired them.
So, I expressed my desire to God, and I told him that I wanted a glimpse of what it felt like. There was no reply, but I felt a stir in my heart, a sense of hope. On day 4 during the outpouring of the Holy Spirit, I received the fruit of peace. At that time, I knew that God wanted me to just spend time with him, in peace. I claim the truth that I finally entered God’s house and am his beloved. It was no longer about what I had to offer, but simply to let my pride down and receive him in humility. He has been lovingly revealing to me hurts and wounds that I thought were in my past. At times, his love transcends our understanding. Why did we have to revisit our hurts. Then it clicked, he was granting me the opportunity to not simply walk past my hurts, but to understand and to surrender them to him, to humbly receive the graces required to conquer the wound. This testified 2 truths that were mentioned during the school. Firstly, that pain presupposes healing and that it is true that there might be a lot to give up for God, such as my pride and comfort, but truly the gain is far greater and lasting.
God is still revealing things to me and though this discovery may be hurtful process, I am comforted that he is carrying me through this journey of healing. This only serves as an affirmation that God is present in my life. The relationship that I share with God is now not so much of what I should or should not do, but in what way can show my love for him and being aware of the times he loved me. I now happily waste time with God (something we were taught in the school). I feel more secured and affirmed in my identity and can claim this with conviction. Struggles will still come my way, but I also know that if I humbly seek him, I will not be facing them alone.
I guess God did not want me to settle for alright, he wanted it to be full, full of goodness. God was not so interested in my routines, but the bond I share with him. So, are you settling for what is minimal or do you desire for abundance?