Free to be Me!

By Shaun Choo, 21, RCIY | View the full video here 🙂

Before I came to know Jesus, I was a man who believed heavily in the pleasures of the world. Many of my thoughts and actions revolved around worldly expectations. So often, I found myself wanting to be validated in every aspect of my life. I craved the attention of my family and friends and would even go as far as to lie about myself (and to myself) about the kind of person I was in order to be placed in high regard amongst them. However, deep down, I was never satisfied with the praises and achievements I got. I knew that how I presented myself was never how I was made in God’s eyes. 

Eventually, I struggled deeply with who I was as a person. In seeking validation, things that were important to me in that moment of my life, like studies and family took a toll. But it was at this low point in my life that I opened my heart to God. I didn’t know who I spoke to, but in desperation, I cried out to God to give me a sign of Himself. I came to know a friend who was very willing to be patient with me in discovering the Lord and brought me to Mass. However, once again I fell back to my insecurities and lost sight of who I was. So one night, I  asked for another sign of God and I was warmly greeted of his presence through a song that played next on shuffle and through a very vivid dream of mine. In this dream, I was invited by Jesus Himself to open the door to my house, and let Him in. It was only by accepting His invitation in my dream that I knew God had a greater purpose in life for me.

After a few years, I lost touch with this friend but knew that there was a calling for me in a community – to surround myself and grow with brothers and sisters who share passionately in the Love of God. It was in the communities such as OYP’s Rite of the Christian Initiation for Youths (RCIY), and the community for army boys, Come as You are (Caya) that I found along the way that reminded me of God’s love for me. That I never had to be someone else in His eyes; that I could be fully me! As much as I falter in this journey, I know that The Lord still loves me deeply. It was also here that I met my Godpa who always reminds me that God wants me to come to Him as I am, and not what others want to see about me.

In this liberation, I claim the truth today that God is in full control of my life, and that I feel free in His presence and love for me 🙂 And I couldn’t be happier with where I am today!