By Felicia Somasundram
Most of my life has been a search for meaning and purpose. For many years, I believed that success was the answer. I worked hard, and eventually secured a job that I was both excited and passionate about. I did well at my job. Everything seemed to be falling into place. I felt a sense of fulfilment with every achievement at work, and thought that, maybe, I had finally found the purpose of my life.
But I realised soon enough that this sense of purpose would not last. In a bid to make the feeling stick, I drove myself into an endless pursuit of achievement. Yet, the only thing I got was an unexplainable restlessness. It was a restlessness that could not be quelled. As time passed, my frustration and confusion only grew stronger. Suddenly, the path I planned seemed to be leading me further and further away from my truest desire.
I began to resign myself to hopelessness and disappointment. My prayer time had become a cacophony of the same questions, constantly asking God: “is there all this is? is this all that I’m made for? where do I go from here?’ One morning, the Lord gave me His answer. As I was getting ready for work, I felt a gentle prompting in my heart from Him: To consider serving Him through missionary and pastoral work.
After much prayer, many promptings, and plenty of God’s grace, I accepted His invitation. I left my job to become a campus missionary at the Office for Young People. This new path has not been easy. But the Lord continues to expand my heart, growing me in ways that I never expected. In learning to continually surrender to His steady hand, I finally found an unwavering sense of peace and purpose.
Looking back at my journey, I find myself resonating with the Samaritan Woman in John’s Gospel. She had encountered the Lord in her loneliness, brokenness, and in her thirsting – for hope, for love, for something more. And He had fulfilled her every need with the gift of living water. The same water which I too am called to drink. And like her, I drank.
“Then the woman left her water jar and went back to the city. She said to the people, “Come and see a man who told me everything I have ever done! He cannot be the Messiah, can he?”
– John 4: 28-29
