by Ryan Soon, Singapore Poly
Coming into the Graduating Poly students Recollection, I had many doubts as I was unsure of what to expect. I was baptized just two years ago, and am fairly new to the faith.
During one session, we were asked to reflect on some of the negative scripts and areas of our lives that we struggled to surrender to the Lord. The negative scripts that I was challenged by were that of my unworthiness because of my sinfulness, my insecurities, and fear of being judged by others based on my words and actions.
I was also doubtful of what the future held for me. After all, I was entering into a new phase of life with national service and university education. New beginnings and environments bring new temptations. I am an easily impressionable person by nature and I was afraid that I would be lured back to my old sinful ways. However, during the sharing session, the facilitator spoke about having joy in uncertainty and shared that we should all put our faith and trust in the Lord, assuring us that He will provide. Upon hearing this, my fears were immediately allayed.
by Ryan (in red, third row, extreme right)
I had to dig really deep and to find the courage to surrender these worries at the foot of the cross. During the virtual para liturgy session with my group mates, the Lord spoke to me, telling me that He desired to heal me of my brokenness. After that session, I felt an inexplicable sense of peace and calm. Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you”, declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”. This is a truth that I took away from this experience. The Lord is calling me to be deeply rooted in my faith and to trust in His plans because He knows what’s best for me.
Fast forward to the end of the recollection, and I felt as if I had been born again. As I quote from a fellow sister-in-Christ’s testimony, “God does not condemn us for making wrong decisions, but rather guides us back onto the right path.” That statement struck a chord within me. My past wrongdoings do not define who I am and I should not be concerned by what others may think of me, but rather remain fixed on the Lord God alone. I am proud to say that I am a child of God and my identity lies in Him!
I entered the Graduating Poly Recollection (GPR) session feeling exhausted. This exhaustion stemmed from constantly feeling drained by the uncertainty that the future held post-graduation. I am someone who always has everything planned out. For the first time in my life, nothing was. That was very intimidating. During GPR, I was reminded of simple yet significant truths. That God was in the uncertainty with me and that I can be joyful even in this period!
During the time of prayer, God moved my heart to recognise the lies that held my thoughts and heart captive. Lies that I was not smart enough, good enough or all that I worked was for nothing.
The Lord then called me to lay the lies at the foot of the cross. That spiritual movement of surrender and trust brought this sense of peace and joy into my heart. It is also one I now continuously practice every day. I rejoice and claim once again with renewed lenses that God is sovereign over my life! With Him, I am safe! He is good, therefore His will for me will always be good too!