By Rena Tang
‘Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But, if it dies, it produces many seeds.’ (John 12:24) In this Sunday’s Gospel, we’re reminded of the reality of death. At first glance, we may be quick to think of the physical and natural aspect of death. Yet, the call of Christ also entails dying to self – surrendering the desires, the habits and lifestyles that prevent us from following and loving Him.
Naturally, we all have desires, but the question we’ve to ask ourselves is whether they’re ordered towards the Lord and His glory, or solely for our own gain. Perhaps you want to excel at work, which is an inherently good desire. Yet, when we lose focus on Him, failing to check ourselves and our intentions in prayer, it can be easily distorted. The desire to excel so as to give glory to God can transform into a glorification of ourselves so as to be admired by or even preferred over our peers.
To die to ourselves means moving out of selfish ways – in both the intentional and unintentional – and to re-orientate our gaze back to the Lord. He invites us not to cling to our worldly desires and dreams, but rather to Him, for we cannot possibly serve two masters. (Matt 6:24) Just as a seed must die to give way to a new plant and bear fruit, we too must allow our worldly and selfish ways to die, so that the Lord can bring forth new hope, and new life in us.
Now my soul is troubled, and what shall I say? ‘Father, save me from this hour’? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour. Father, glorify your name.
Last year, I attended a Day of Recollection, and during that time I had been worrying about various things, feeling trapped by my struggles. A friend prayed over me, and shared an image of me carrying the cross with Jesus. As I carried the tail end of the cross, Jesus looked back at me with an understanding and knowing look. I had always pictured myself being left to carry my cross, while Jesus carried His own. I failed to realise that He was actually bearing the weight of my cross with me, and inviting me to unite my suffering with His.
Upon deeper reflection in prayer, the Lord revealed to me that why I felt so burdened by these struggles was due to my desire for control. I wanted control over the situations over my future, and the situations I was facing, which had led me to become anxious and distraught. I recognised that the Lord’s invitation was to die to myself by surrendering this desire to Him, and to learn to have greater trust in Him and His providence.
In surrendering to Him, I no longer had to live in constant fear and anxiety. Instead, I could live in greater freedom, secure in the love of God. For abandoning my will to Him meant that whatever happened would eventually be used for His greater glory, and that He would take care of me through every struggle.
“By his passion and death on the cross Christ has given a new meaning to suffering: it can henceforth configure us to him and unite us with his redemptive Passion” (CCC 1505). It is through the cross that we are able to share and experience a greater intimacy with Christ. In seasons of suffering, we can persevere in hope – knowing that He has gone before us, and continues to work all things for our good. (Romans 8:28)
Invitation
In what areas of your life is the Lord inviting you to die to yourself and to cling more to Him? (E.g sacrificing social activities, and using that time to be with Him.) Have an honest conversation with Him in prayer.
This week, share the love of Christ with someone through a simple act. E.g helping a family member, interceding for a friend’s intentions, or reaching out to someone in need.
